Monday, March 2, 2009

FHE rules

I look forward to Family Home Evening. Now before you get silly ideas that FHE runs smoothly at our house, let me set you straight! I've learned a few tricks that make it better that smooth or perfect. Kids need to contribute. They need to feel ownership. I've become a huge fan of FHE charts. Have I found the perfect one? NO not yet. In fact, since I change my mind frequently, I've just been creating them on the computer. We change every 6 months or so to a new chart. But for certain, I make sure that each child is responsible for something--from lesson, to conducting, from songs or prayers, to activity and treat. I want to create something that my children (yeah, even the oldest who has reached the age of everything being silly and un-necessary) will look forward to and enjoy as much as I do.
Another secret trick I picked up from our Stake Women's Conference was FHE rules. Here are the three most important (for creating the results I want)

1 Avoid Conflicts
2 Always schedule
3 Be consistant

Here are the secrets that these rules help with. First, by avoiding conflicts like arguments or addressing problems, the children (and family) will learn that FHE is a 'spiritual safe harbor' from the world. Children will want to spend time with their family, instead of secluded in their rooms. Essential relationships will be built and nurtured. Parents will become an active part of their children's lives. And children will become friends with their siblings. Save the problems and confrontations for Family Council time. It will help to part from the 'emotion' of the moment.
Scheduling can actually become a natural part of FHE. If all of the family is together, it's easy to grab a calendar and go over who's doing what, when. It's also a great way to get a heads up on the activities and commitments that everyone has going on. And my favorite--it creates a pattern for communication! (boys need help with that!!!)
One of my favorite phrases is (and I'm sorry, I don't know who said it) The best defense is a good offense. If we are pro-active, then we don't have to be re-active.
And consistancy... well I don't have to say much there. It's a matter of making priorities and creating good habits. And of course, it's heeding the words of our prophets. When FHE is consistantly held, the family members will become actively involved in creating the means to accomplish it. It creates a wondeful cycle.
Just a tidbit for parent's of the littlest angels. It still counts for FHE if you sit down and sing Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam and eat goldfish dipped in water (if you don't know what I'm talking about, make a visit to Nursery on Sunday!) There is a WONDERFUL resource for FHE (and families with children, especially as young as toddler aged) available from the church distribution center. It's a manual called Behold Your Little Ones.
So, there's my two bits and then some on Family Home Evening. I hope you find something useful in all these words.

2 comments:

Lori said...

Glad that goldfish dipped in water is a universal activity for Sunbeams!

Intensity follows consistency!

Great advice, sister.

Tom and Jen Loveland Family said...

Thanks for the ideas. These are great. You inspire me. :)